How to Find Your Perfect Therapist Match
Once you’ve decided that you want to seek therapy, the next thing to do is find a therapist that is going to be a good fit. As a mental health therapist, I have learned from my own practice and experience that a good fit is essential for a successful and satisfying therapy experience. This is also supported in all the research on counseling, the clients who have the best outcomes report the best fit. A good fit is when you and your therapist have a positive and productive relationship that helps you achieve your therapy goals. A good fit means that you feel comfortable, understood, respected, and supported by your therapist. It also means that your therapist has the skills, knowledge, and experience to help you with your specific issues and challenges.
Finding a good fit is not only beneficial, but also necessary for the outcome of therapy. Research shows that the quality of the therapeutic relationship is one of the most important factors that influence the effectiveness of therapy . A good fit can help you feel more motivated, engaged, and hopeful in your therapy. It can also help you overcome your difficulties, cope with your emotions, and make positive changes in your life.
But how do you find a good fit for your therapy needs and goals? How do you choose a therapist who is right for you, or help you find someone else who is? That is the main question that I will address in this blog post. I will share with you some tips and insights that I have learned from my own practice and experience. I will also use a combination of formal and casual tone that edges on humor, to make this topic more fun and interesting. I hope you enjoy reading this post and find it helpful.
Logistics
The first thing you need to think about is the practical aspects of therapy. Where, when, how, and how much?
Location: Do you want to see your therapist in person, or online? If you prefer face-to-face sessions, you need to find someone who is close to your home, work, or school. If you don’t mind virtual sessions, you have more flexibility in choosing your therapist, but you also need to make sure you have a reliable internet connection, a private space, and a compatible device.
Modality: How do you want to communicate with your therapist? Do you prefer talking, texting, video calling, or a combination of these? Different modalities have different advantages and disadvantages, depending on your comfort level, availability, and goals. For example, talking might be more expressive and personal, but texting might be more convenient and discreet.
Insurance: Does your therapist accept your insurance plan, or do you have to pay out of pocket? If you have insurance, you need to check if your therapist is in-network or out-of-network, and what are the benefits and limitations of your coverage. If you don’t have insurance, or if your therapist doesn’t accept it, you need to find out how much they charge per session, and if they offer any sliding scale or reduced fee options. You also need to consider how often and how long you want to see your therapist, and how that affects your budget.
Cost: How much are you willing and able to pay for therapy? Therapy can be a worthwhile investment in your mental health and well-being, but it can also be expensive and inaccessible for many people. You need to find a balance between the quality and the affordability of therapy, and decide what is reasonable and realistic for you. You also need to be aware of the hidden or extra costs of therapy, such as transportation, childcare, medication, etc.
Style
These are the aspects of therapy that relate to the personality, communication, and approach of the therapist. You want to find a therapist who matches your style, or at least adapts to it.
Personality: What kind of personality do you look for in a therapist? Do you want someone who is more warm and friendly, or more cold and professional? Do you want someone who is more active and directive, or more passive and supportive? Do you want someone who is more serious and formal, or more humorous and casual? There is no right or wrong answer to these questions, as different personalities can work better or worse for different clients. You need to find a therapist who you feel comfortable and compatible with, and who can create a rapport and trust with you.
Therapeutic theory/modality: What kind of therapeutic theory or modality do you prefer or are interested in? There are many different types of therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, psychodynamic therapy, humanistic therapy, etc. Each type of therapy has its own assumptions, goals, and techniques, and might suit you better or worse depending on your issues, goals, and preferences. You need to find a therapist who uses a modality that you agree with, understand, and benefit from. You can also find a therapist who uses an integrative or eclectic approach, which means they combine elements from different modalities to suit your needs and goals.
Experience: How much experience and expertise do you expect from your therapist? Do you want someone who has a lot of years and cases under their belt, or someone who is more fresh and eager? Do you want someone who specializes in your specific issue or population, or someone who has a more general or diverse practice? Do you want someone who has a lot of credentials and qualifications, or someone who has more practical and personal knowledge? Again, there is no right or wrong answer to these questions, as different levels and types of experience can have their pros and cons. You need to find a therapist who has the necessary training, credentials, and track record to help you effectively.
Things to consider
These are the aspects of therapy that relate to your personal preferences, needs, and goals. You want to find a therapist who understands and respects your individuality and diversity.
Gender: Does the gender of your therapist matter to you? Do you feel more comfortable or open with a therapist of the same gender, opposite gender, or non-binary gender? Do you have any preferences or biases based on your own gender identity or experience? Do you have any issues or goals that are related to gender, such as sexuality, trauma, discrimination, etc.? The gender of your therapist can affect your comfort and rapport, as well as your perspective and insight. You need to find a therapist who you feel safe and comfortable with, and who can relate to and respect your gender identity and experience.
Age: Does the age of your therapist matter to you? Do you feel more comfortable or open with a therapist who is older, younger, or similar in age to you? Do you have any preferences or biases based on your own age or stage of life? Do you have any issues or goals that are related to age, such as development, transition, aging, etc.? The age of your therapist can affect your comfort and rapport, as well as your perspective and insight. You need to find a therapist who you feel safe and comfortable with, and who can relate to and respect your age and stage of life.
Ethnicity, culture, religion: Does the ethnicity, culture, or religion of your therapist matter to you? Do you feel more comfortable or open with a therapist who shares or differs from your ethnic, cultural, or religious background? Do you have any preferences or biases based on your own ethnic, cultural, or religious identity or experience? Do you have any issues or goals that are related to ethnicity, culture, or religion, such as identity, belonging, diversity, etc.? The ethnicity, culture, or religion of your therapist can affect your comfort and rapport, as well as your perspective and insight. You need to find a therapist who you feel safe and comfortable with, and who can relate to and respect your ethnic, cultural, or religious identity and experience.
Sexual orientation, disability: Does the sexual orientation or disability of your therapist matter to you? Do you feel more comfortable or open with a therapist who shares or differs from your sexual orientation or disability status? Do you have any preferences or biases based on your own sexual orientation or disability identity or experience? Do you have any issues or goals that are related to sexual orientation or disability, such as acceptance, inclusion, accessibility, etc.? The sexual orientation or disability of your therapist can affect your comfort and rapport, as well as your perspective and insight. You need to find a therapist who you feel safe and comfortable with, and who can relate to and respect your sexual orientation or disability identity and experience.
Specific technique or intervention: Are you looking for a specific technique or intervention in your therapy? Do you have a preference or curiosity for a certain type of therapy, such as mindfulness, hypnosis, EMDR, etc.? Do you have a goal or need that requires a specific technique or intervention, such as trauma, addiction, phobia, etc.? Different techniques or interventions have different evidence, effectiveness, and suitability for different issues and goals. You need to find a therapist who is qualified and experienced in providing the technique or intervention that you are looking for, and who can explain and apply it in a way that works for you.
Conclusion
Finding a good therapeutic fit is one of the most important steps in having a successful and satisfying therapy experience. A good fit can help you feel more motivated, engaged, and hopeful in your therapy. It can also help you overcome your difficulties, cope with your emotions, and make positive changes in your life.
Finding a good fit is not a one-time event, but a process that requires some research, trial and error, and feedback. You need to consider the logistics, style, and things to consider of your therapy, and find a therapist who meets your criteria and expectations. You also need to try it out and evaluate the fit, and give feedback and adjust your therapy accordingly.